18.8.18 Thank You Allah..Alhamdulillah..

Assalamualaikum..

18.8.18, alhamdulillah genap 32 tahun jadi anak sulung mama papa.. 32 tahun diberikan nikmat kehidupan oleh Allah S.W.T. Thank you Allah.. Terima kasih mama kerana melahirkan Along dengan kesakitan yang tiada tolak bandingnya. Terima kasih papa kerana tidak putus asa memberi dorongan dan semangat untuk Along teruskan hidup. Terima kasih mama papa kerana membenarkan tanggungjawab beralih kepada suami tersayang.

For this lovely date, i am wishing for my good health, happiness and successful Islamic life ahead.
For my dearest family members and lovely friends, i am wishing for our strong ukhuwah.
Not forgotten, i am hoping for forgiveness if there was any wrongdoing that i have done. Kindly remind me for that.. InsyaAllah i will make myself better.

Thank You For The Suprise Hubby. InsyaAllah will try harder to be your Siti Khatijah..

Thank You My Lovely Sister For The Very Warm Wish.Allah is everyhing sis..
p/s: let us repeat the 'caffein treat'


《The Crying Pearl》

The Black Date ♥Part 4♥

Assalamualaikum..

Lama tak menulis perkongsian kisah yang aku sendiri tak pernah terlintas akan berlaku dalam kehidupan ni.. Dalam hari2 yang aku lalui bersama m.c dan e.l. after undergone xray at my left femur, it shown none of any type of fracture. Untuk lebih kepastian aku minta dirujuk oleh pakar orthopedic yang juga merupakan best friend of my pakcik in law and end up with diagnosis left hamstring tear. i was refered to physiotherapists for further treatment. every 2 days i had gone the exercise to reduce my symptom and the pain itself. the physiotherapists is so nice to me. the pain was reduced a bit with the help of the medicine i got from the orthopedics m.o. Thank you prof. even he can't afford to give me long term m.c due to the diagnosis but it was a good news to know that i have no fracture. Thank you all the physiotherapists for the nice treatment and care.

Disebabkan aku tak boleh nak berjalan jauh on my own disebab kan kaki yang masih sakit, aku terpaksa susahkan husband untuk hantar pergi dan balik dari fisio. And everytime husband nak pergi kerja shif petang dia terpaksa hantar aku n Sufi ke rumah my parents sebab tak nak bagi aku sendirian dengan anak2.risau katanya sebab aku still on and off dirasuk tambahan dengan aku yang still berjalan dengan bantuan. jadi disebabkan tu jugak husband arranged cuti tanpa gaji untuk aku. Nak bawa aku pergi berubat sampai aku sihat balik macam dulu. Aku banyak berubah dari dulu..husband cakap aku banyak termenung, tak banyak mengaji macam dulu, dah tak mengajar anak2 membaca macam selalu, tak boleh buat kerja rumah macam dulu, dan dah tak banyak bercerita itu ini dengan dia.. Dia cakap dia sunyi dan rindukan aku yang dulu...

Bermula saat itula jugak aku gagahkan diri ke sana ke sini untuk berubat. kalau tak husband yang bawa, my parents and in law yang bawak gi jumpa ustaz. tapi most of the time aku berubat di Darus Syifa Pasir Tumboh disamping tempat2 lain jugak. satu hari dalam minggu pertama aku start sakit tu, mama mengajar, husband kerja, Danish tadika, tinggal aku, Miza (my sis) & Yam (my brother). Since 2 hari lepas aku sakit perut dan ari2 macam senggugut. on & off rasa sakit pinggang macam nak beranak. Hari ke-3 lebih kurang dalam pukul 1 tgh hari, sakit macam senggugut makin menjadi2. aku masuk ke dalam bilik sebab nak mandi. Tiba2 rasa macam ada benda jatuh ke bawah vagina aku (Tak tahu nak describe macam mana tapi  ada orang cakap macam tu rasa bila keguguran.) Then rasa macam ada sesuatu kat vagina aku. Keras..Kasar..Sakit. Aku terus keluar menuju ke dapur and told Miza what had happened. Aku dah berair mata sebab mix feelings. Takut..seram..Sakit..

Miza asked me to open up my leg so that she can see what it is. Suddenly she screamed and cried while sitting in front of me. 
' Ada benda pelik kat bawah ni ' i asked her to take 'it' out from there. I cried as soon as the mistery object was taken out by her. I saw her hand shaking whenever she hold that object. Bloods had stained here and there. I though i was having my Period at that time. My brother took that thing to the Darus Syifa for further process.

My sister has snapped a picture and whatsapp to my hubby. Then he asked ustaz for the right process. If this happen to you, just bring thayt thing to the nearest Darus Syifa or any Islamic based treatment place. They will handle it with the correct way.

I am stressed. Macam2 perasaan dan tanda tanya bermain di fikiran aku. Benda apa tu? Kenapa aku? Apa aku buat? Sape yabg buat? And most of the time i cried and cried.. I lost my happy time during the period. I lost my family time..also my me time. Someone must remind me about my daily routine even to take bath. almost everyday my sister was showered me with air limau purut and air yabg dibekalkan oleh pusat2 rawatan Islam. Antara yang aku ingat Ustaz minta all my siblings tadah dalam 1 baldi titisan2 air wuduk last diorang. Maksudnya lepas wuduk diorg akan biarkan air wuduk menitis masuk ke dalam 1 baldi. Dan aku akan campurkan air2 wuduk tu dalam air mandian. Memang tak banyak tapi cukupla untuk iktiar.

Darus Syifa memang takkan beritahu pesakit apa yang diorang kena. Saka ke..Sihir ke..Santau ke.. Pokok pangkal mereka tak nak aku lagi memikirkan banyak perkara bila aku tahu sape dan ape. Lagi satu katanya kalau dia beritahu takut jadi fitnah. Memang aku tak puas hati tapi apakan daya aku sebab tu dah cara diorang berubat. Kena hormat dan yakin..

Nanti ada masa terluang aku sambung lagi ye..



《The Crying Pearl》

The Black Date ♥Part 3♥

Assalamualaikum..

"God lets everything happen for a reason. It's all a learning process, and you have to go from one level to another" ~Mike Tyson

Day by day..my working hours passed with the Emergency Leave (E.L) and M.C. My dear husband took care of it since i was in unconcious condition. I was keep screamed..fainted..woke up by Ruqyah..felt down again and again with the heavy painful at the left thigh. Since then, my family was staying at my parent's house. Hubby risau bila dia terpaksa tinggalkan aku untuk bekerja. So the safe side, kami menetap sementara kat rumah mama dan papa. At least mama dan papa boleh tolong uruskan aku yang mobiliti terhad dan Sufi2 yang tak tahu ape2..

First day after the first incident,..
Aku just ikut ape yang diaturkan oleh mama papa dan hubby. Aku berehat di sofa selepas hubby hantar Sufi ke tadika. Mama pun dah pergi mengajar dengan hati yang berat. Tinggallah aku bersama papa dan hubby. My mind was Zero. Aku sendiri tak tahu ape yang aku fikirkan masa tu. Most of the time aku fainted dan sedar2 aku dah terbaring with less energy. Hubby decide untuk bawa aku berubat di Pulau Melaka kalau tak silap. That was my first treatment since Yesterday. Melangkah je aku masuk dalam rumah Ustaz tu, Ustaz tu terus menyapa aku dan cakap lama dah benda ni ada dengan aku.. Dia kata dia boleh nampak ada dengan aku. For your information, aku memang tak percaya sangat..pergi pun sebab ikut je apa my parents aturkan. After the treatment, kami balik rumah dan macam biasa aku relaps balik fainted. Papa ada call Ustaz tu inform progress aku. Ustaz tu cakap benda tu datang balik dan dia try ubatkan dari jauh. Dari rawatan Ustaz tadi dia cakap aku terkena Sihir yang memang dituju untuk aku dari makanan. My Trustworthy of the treatment was only 50%.

Hari2 aku dihabiskan dengan baring dan rehat je. Sufies pun aku aku tak handle. At the afternoon before Asar, my family in law came for a visit at my parent's house. disebabkan diorang datang dah dekat Asar, so my father in law (f.i.l), pakcik in law n adik2 ipar lelaki ke masjid untuk solat Asar. Rumah parents aku 5minit je jalan kaki ke masjid.. Dalam masa yang sama kat rumah, my mother in law (m.i.l) n makcik in law solat kat dalam bilik while mama temankan aku kat ruang tamu sebab diorang takkan biarkan aku duk sorang. Nanti aku akan menari2 dan menjerit then fainted. Bila dah siap solat turn mama dan aku pulak solat Asar. M.I.L dan makcik tunggu kat ruang tamu. Mama tinggalkan aku solat dalam bilik tengah. Aku yakinkan mama aku okey so mama pergila solat kat bilik mama.. Disebabkan aku sakit paha dan tak boleh nak luruskan kaki jadi aku solat duduk atas kerusi. Seingat aku, aku tengah solat Asar dan dalam rakaat kedua@ketiga macam tu aku rasa ada tangan paut leher aku dari belakang dan tarik kepala aku ke belakang (macam orang nak patahkan tengkuk aku). Then aku tak sedar dah ape jadi. Sedar2 je aku terbaring atas sejadah dalam kain sembahyang lagi dan keliling aku ada semua orang termasuklah adik2 aku yang baru je sampai dengan bas petang tu..Yam dan Miza. Terpancar air muka sedih adik2 aku melihat kakaknya sakit macam ni..obviously Miza sebab she is my only sister i have. Then mereka papah aku ke ruang tamu untuk berehat. Rumah mama dah macam ada kenduri dah petang tu. Sorry mama sebab susahkan mama..
Selepas kejadian tu mama cakap beberapa kali dia perasan solat aku terganggu..tengah2 solat dia dengar aku menjerit then bila mama datang tengok aku kerusi yang aku guna untuk duduk time solat tu terbalik ke atas aku sementara aku tak sedarkan diri. After the incident, aku tak dibenarkan solat sendirian lagi..

Malam harinya kami akan tidur di ruang tamu beramai2 sebab aku kerap terjaga dan diganggu. Pernah sekali mereka tersedar sebab aku nak buka pintu keluar rumah. Aku cakap ada orang panggil aku. Kerap kali aku sebut 'gunung sejuk'..sebut seseorang yang bernama 'Islam'.. itu je yang aku ingat diorang cerita kat aku.. Pasal seseorang yang nama 'Islam' tu aku tak ingat sangat tapi 'dia' kerap muncul dalam mimpi aku. Aku abaikan sebab nama pun mimpi kan.. Still remember tiap kali aku terjaga tengah2 malam mesti adik aku tengah baca ayat2 Ruqyah sepanjang aku tidur..

After all of this happened, i have been look around in many perspective. The questions keep spinning in my head. What..why..how..whose..??
Until now we are still seeking for treatments either medically or traditionally..


《The Crying Pearl》

Assalamualaikum..

Hari ni hari yang ditunggu2 dengan debarnya dah tiba..hari untuk prosedur Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) pada brain.

Buat informasi semua MRI ni sejenis scan yang menggunakan daya magnet yang kuat serta gelombang radio untuk dapatkan imej yang lebih jelas tentang  struktur dalam badan kita..tu yang mudah nak faham la.. Berbeza dengan scan2 lain, MRI dilakukan di dalam sejenis mesin canggih berbentuk ala terowong yang sempit.

Antara persiapan yang doktor nasihatkan sebelum prosedur ialah:
1.Puasa dari pukul 12 MN sebelum prosedur.ni doktor tu cakap in case kalau anything emergency happens during the procedur.

2.Kalau kita ade allergic seafood,doktor akan bagi steroid.itu kalau doktor plan untuk contrast MRI..if plain MRI tak perlu steroid..

3.Dilarang memakai barangan berbentuk metal seperti barang kemas,brooch,pakaian dalam yang ada besi (nak safe pakai sports bra yang takde cangkuk). Also be careful penyepit rambut ye.. Any inquiries boleh tanye je staf yang bertugas.

4.Kalau ade pakai implant, pacemaker, susuk(ni yang tertulis kat ruang ruang menunggu MRI ye), kena inform kepada staf yang bertugas sebelum masuk ke bilik MRI.. Penting ye sebab daya magnetic mesin MRI ni kuat tau..

Ni gambar mesin MRI keluaran PHILIPS ala-ala yang digunakan..sebab kat dalam tak bolek bawa masuk handphone ye..

Ruang dalam bilik MRI tu pulak gelap lebih kurang mcm ni la jugak..tapi takdela warna biru camni..hehe.

Disebabkan aku di order MRI Brain so kena pakai special accessory kat kepala yang menutupi muka..macam topi jaring2 besi gitu..

Gambar2 ehsan dari google ye..

Okey,let us continue..
Sampai je kat ruang kauntet MRI, ade sorang staf datang dan do the checklist and complete the consent (borang keizinan prosedur yang kena pesakit kena sign). Lepas tu dia jemput masuk ke bilik persalinan untuk salin gown prosedur. Sempatla cium tangan hubby dan mintak doakan prosedur lancar sebab pernah dengar ada pesakit pernah collapse dalam bilik MRI..seram pulak.

lepas dah pakai gown biru untuk prosedur, maka diiringi masuk ke bilik malap yang dimaksudkan. tengok je katil tu sempit je..tapi jangan risau muat 😉. then radiographer bertugas beri arahan sikit pasal prosedur. Prosedur MRI ambil masa at least 45 minit paling kurang. Kalau dia nak Contrast MRI biasanya diorang akan inject contrast in between 45minit tu..Sesudah baring atas katil sempit tu diorang bagi button kat tangan kanan untuk ditekan bila kecemasan nak panggil diorang. masa atas katil tu kepala akan masuk muat2 je dengan topi keledar khas yang jaring2 tu..sebab diorang kat bilik luar tau.tapi still nampak kita kat dalam tu..jangan risau. At that time telinga dipasang headfon sebab mesin MRI ni keluarkan bunyi bising tau..

After that, kita dapat rasa sunyi sangat2 selepas diorang kosongkan bilik tu just for MRI machine & you..hee. Slowly katil tu slide in dan masuk ke dalam terowong bulat..dalam beberapa minit bunyi bising start bunyi dah.. aku yang kat dalam dah mula nak panic attack. dengan takutnya..gelapnya..kadang2 rasa tak boleh tarik nafas sebab sempit sangat. Nak tekan button emergency pun fikir panjang2 sebab once dah tekan button tu prosedur akan reset balik tau..jadi lagi lama pulak korang kat dalam tu.. yang terbaik try redakan panic attack tu..Ni antara yang aku buat sepanjang 45 minit tu untuk maintain 'hidup' kat dalam tu.hee..

1.Senaman pernafasan.Tarik nafas dalam2 dengan hidung dan hembus dengan mulut perlahan2.

2.Pejam mata dengan tenang. Jangan sampai kuat2 nanti stress plak.hee..Pejam je macam nak tidur.
Bayangkan tempat yang best2..

3.Baca surah2 lazim alQuran, Istifar...

4.Yang ni menjadi untuk aku.Counting numbers.Bilang je 1..2..3.. sampai beribu2 yang korang boleh kira.. Percayalah sedar2 je dah siap prosedur. Ade yang boleh terlelap tau sebab counting.. Try it.

Bunyi sepanjang prosedur tu bersilih ganti.Ada bunyi kipas helikopter tengan berpusing standby untuk terbang je..Ade bunyi drilling..Ade bunyi macam Alien tengah menyanyi & menari kat atas mesin..Ade bunyi orang ketuk2 besi..Aish...berhantu pulak bunyi mesin ni..hee..

Dah siap prosedur..debaran tunggu result pulak..Doakan result baik2 je ye semua..Amin..Korang yang perlu undergo MRI prosedur janganlah takut ye..insyaAllah berjalan lancar nanti. Yang penting minda kita yang kawal badan dan perasaan kita..so set minda yang positif2 je..insyaAllah..

24.4 2017

The day for the result has come.. Alhamdulillah result MRI smuanya normal dan baik. Semoga semuanya terus kekal baik selamanya.. Thanks kepada yang mendoakan.. Allah is everything.

《The Crying Pearl》

The Black Date ♥Part 2♥

Assalamualaikum..
As a continuity of part 1..

Selepas ustaz balik, mereka papah ibu masuk ke dalam bilik untuk wuduk dan solat..agak susah nak bergerak dalam keadaan paha kiri yang teramatlah sakit.solat pun sambil duduk dan kaki kiri memang tak boleh dilipat.
betapa indahnya Islam kerana adanya ruksah untuk menunaikan ibadat ketika sakit dan betapa bersyukurnya keluarga ada disisi untuk mengingatkan diri ni yang sememangnya fikiran tengah Zero.sungguh tak selesa kerana terpaksa membebankan keluarga.tp bak kata my sister, "kalau keluarga tak tolong siapa lagi nak tolong.." Selepas kejadian tu ibu banyak duduk kat rumah mama papa je.sebab at least ada orang tengok2kan masa husband kerja..

Sejak hari tu ibu asyik berulang alik dari klinik panel untuk sembuhkan kaki ni.m.c bersilih ganti.bila emosi dah semakin stabil,semakin timbul tanda tanya apa yang dah jadi pada hari tersebut?? berkali2 ibu bertanya terutamanya kepada husband tapi 2 hari selepas kejadian barulah husband setuju untuk story tentang apa yang dah terjadi. jadi,cerita yang dicoretkan ni adalah hasil dari penceritaan husband dan sedikit dari Sufi.

Sebaik sahaja husband siap refill air minuman kat depan masjid tempoh hari, dia tengok ibu terlentok tido sambil muka berpaling ke arah tingkap penumpang. Dia sangka ibu terlelap sebab demam yang tinggi sebab masa husband letakkan tangan ke dahi ibu, dia memang rasa panas yang amat.. jadi dibiarkan ibu 'berehat' dan terus ke tadika untuk menjemput Sufi. sedangkan masa tu ibu memang tak sedar apatah lagi nak ingat..

Sesampainya di rumah, Sufi dah masuk ke dalam rumah..tapi husband cakap ibu freeze kat seat dengan tak buka mata dan tak bergerak langsung. Oleh sebab tu husband tarik dan paksa ibu masuk ke dalam rumah dibantu okeh Sufi. Masuk je ke dalam rumah, husband cakap ibu buka mata dan jalan terus ke sudut ruang tamu. dengan berdiri menghadap ke dinding, ibu mula menari2-katanya macam menari inang dan ulek mayang..husband mula tak sedap hati terus call pengasuh Sufi untuk panggilkan ustaz datang ke rumah untuk pulihkan ibu. kenapa cari pengasuh Sufi? haa..that one another story pulak..nanti kita story lain ye.. sementara menunggu ustaz sampai husband perhati je dari jauh sambil alunkan ayat suci al quran.malah siap rakam lagi beberapa minit selepas mengarahkan Sufi masuk ke dalam bilik. disebabkan masa tu dah hampir Zohor, jadi mungkin lambat sikit ustaz sampai.. husband pelik jugak tadi nak berjalan pun dipapah sebab kaki sakit tapi kali ni siap menari2 lagi. husband memang pelik dah..

Tak lama lepas tu azan Zohor berkumandang dan ibu terus jatuh pengsan.. then husband letakkan ibu kat depan sofa ruang tamu. lepas tu barulah families terdekat sampai dah tolong apa yang patut. ada yang demah kepala dengan air sebab demam yang tinggi..ada yang alunkan ayat2 alQuran..ada yang tolong uruskan Sufies..

Alhamdulillah..rentetan dari itulah ibu tersedar dari lelap yang panjang. Tubuh rasa macam lumpuh dengan kaki kiri yang amatlah sakit..tubuh rasa tak ada sisa tenaga langsung mungkin disebabkan tenaga yang dihabiskan dengan 'aktiviti' yang tak dijangka tadi.. wallahualam..


《the crying pearl》

Dear my One and Only sister..

Dear Sister..

first of all, i am sorry because i always make you worry about me.. you are my best friend since young who always be my shoulder to cry..
you become my other wing which i can rely to fly to my dreamland..
you are my diary for me to share my secrets with..
you have a pair of good ears which i can find a good listener to hear my bubbling..

Sister,..
even you are a bit stressful sometimes, but you cheer up my life..
even you are easily get angry, but you are my tears wiper..
even you are a bit stubborn, but you manage to be a loyal daughter, a good sister and a good unty for Sufi..

Sister,..
whatever you look like now and in future, i will always love you..i wish i could forever pray for you dik..
you are the best sister in the whole world💕
who else would like to be my coffee partner other than you girl..
It Is You...


《the crying pearl》

The Black Date ♥ Part 1♥

Assalamualaikum..

It had happened on 15 August 2017. A date which i didn't want to remember at all.. But it was my part as human to share to others because you have to understand before you know how to react if your loved one face the same situation like me.

At first i want to appologize you from the bottom of my heart if the presentation of my story is going to hurt anyone's feeling. I didn't mean it..honestly.

To my Sufies, here is your ibu's story which had made you scared of me somehow..

It was the day when i did all my morning routine at home-siapkan anak untuk ke sekolah dan all the kelam kabut scenario as always. lepas Sufi dah masuk kereta, beg2 pun dah all packed dlm kereta. Biasela budak2 kan, nak jugak ibu kuarkan arahan dulu.. dan hari tu jugakla rs nak buang air kecil sebelum naik kereta. cepat2 ibu masuk toilet kat dalam bilik untuk lunaskan hajat. Dah siap2 hajat, basuh tangan kat sinki depan toilet. entah cammana sekelip mata sedar2 dah terduduk atas lantai toilet yg basah tu. bayangkan korang duduk dengan kaki kanan lurus ke depan dan kaki kiri lipat mcm duduk antara 2 sujud. dah imagine? ya Allah ms tu Allah je tahu..dengan fikiran tertanya2 lagi dengan freeze takleh nak gerak lagi. dah mcm lumpuh sekejap.. Ape lagi menjerit la panggil hubby. Hubby kat luar tgh temankan my first Sufi yang memang siap dalam kereta dah.. berlari2 my hubby dapatkan ibu yang dah tak terdaya nak bangun. istifar panjang jugakla tgk keadaan ibu yang terjelopok dengan lengkap beruniform. maka berusaha la mereka bertiga mengheret ibu ke dalam bilik. al maklumla bukannya ringan ibu ni..
Selesai je sesi memohon emergency leave, ibu dah terlantar tak boleh jalan lagi. Sufi  picit2 ibu dan dalam masa yang sama hubby dapat panggilan dari mil menyatakan ada kematian saudara terdekat kat kampung dan nak dikebumikan pagi ni jugak. Sebenarnya kampung hubby dekat2 rumah kami je.. hubby dah start serba salah dah antara family dia dan isteri. Disebabkan sakit yang masih boleh ditahan masa tu, ibu suruh je ayah pergi uruskan hal kebumi arwah dulu manakala my second Sufi left home with me. rasanya itu yang lebih penting buat masa tu. lalu hubby pun bersiap untuk hantar Sufi ke tadika dan terus ke tempat kematian..

Jam menunjukkan lebih kurang jam 9 pagi. sakit kat paha kiri makin menjadi2 dan ibu masih menanti untuk dibawa ke klinik. badan dah mula rasa nak demam..maybe sebab sakit yang tak tertahan kot. dengan kerenah my second Sufi lagi..budak 3 years old faham2 la kan bukan faham ape lagi.. lalu ibu mencapai handset dan mendial nombor hubby tapi tak dijawab. mungkin sedang sibuk dengan hal pengebumian. tubuh dah mula rigor dan demam..manakala paha pula berdenyut2 kesakitan.
lebih kurang pukul 11 pagi hubby tiba di rumah. hubby minta maaf sebab tadi tengah gali kubur katanya..masa tu penjelasan hubby dah macam masuk telinga kiri keluar telinga kanan. dalam kepala ni fikirkan kaki yang sakit je. nak cepat2 pergi klinik panel disebabkan nak servis yang cepat. lagipun hubby nak kena masuk kerja pulak pukul 2 petang nanti.. So kami pun ke klinik panel. demam masa tu dah cecah 40°C. sakit pulak masa tu  skala 7 dari 10 tapi still boleh jalan bila dipapah. kepala berdenyut2. doktor bagi m.c 2 hari beserta ubat demam dan ubat tahan sakit. tak patah katanya sebab kalau patah sepatutnya dah tak boleh berjalan langsung dah..
Disebabkan dari pagi lagi kami tak makan, hubby pun singgahla kedai makan tak jauh dari rumah untuk lunch. ibu memang rasa tak larat dah. makan jugak sikit nak alas perut untuk makan ubat. sesudah lunch, hubby kata nak singgah refill air minuman kejap depan masjid. ibu turutkan jelah sebab memang dah takde air minuman dah kat rumah untuk minum. kami memang refill air minuman. kat sini ibu jadi macam restless rigor dan macam2 rasa tak selesa yang datang. bayangkan korang demam tiggi..dengan panas teriknya kat luar masa tu..

Masa hubby nak masuk kereta lepas siap refill air, ibu nampak satu jasad yang besar dan gelap kat belakang badan hubby. disebabkan dah letih dengan demam dan sakit paha yang melampau, ibu jadi speechless. terus ibu pusingkan kepala ke kiri dan pretend to sleep. tapi sebelum tu sempat lagi ibu whatssap kat adik cakap ada 'benda' belakang hubby. sebab masa tu whatssapp dia je yang paling atas kat screen tu. dan lepas tu ibu memang tak sedar apa yang berlaku.

Bila buka je mata mama, papa, family mil, Sufies dan hubby ada kat keliling ibu. badan dah macam lumpuh tak boleh nak gerak sikit pun. bila tanya, diorang hanya jawab 'Along tak sihat,rehatla..' and at that time is already almost 4pm.. terkulat2 memikirkan ape dah jadi pada ibu? kenapa dah pukul 4pm hubby tak pergi kerja lagi? kalau tak sihat sekalipun takdela sampai whole families datang rumah? haa..yang paling weird kenapa ibu terlantar kat tengah2 ruang tamu yang sofa2 dialih ke tepi?
dalam terkebil2 ibu bertanda tanya, tiba2 dengar someone dari jauh memanggil hubby
'..sini kejap,ustaz nak balik dahni..' ustaz?? for what??
then dalam masa tengah 'freeze' kat baringan my first Sufi came and i asked him what happened to ibu?and he said 'ibu masuk hantu tadi..' then tak sempat dia cakap lebih jauh my mama took him away from me..


《the crying pearl》

Kiddos Recipe ~Nugget Homemade~

Assalamualaikum...

Alahai anak..kenapelah susah sgt nak makan sayur?..walhal masa preggy ibu suka sgt mkn sayur..takpe2..disebabkan Sufi taknak makan sayur,ibu usahakan jgak biar Sufi makan jugak sayur..

Haa..this is one of the successful vege-intake recipe for Sufi..

❤Homemade Nugget❤

Bahan Kisar

1.Isi ayam Fillet 2 keping
2.Roti 2 keping
3.Taufu 1 ketul
4.Bawang merah 3-4 biji
5.Bawang putih 2-3 biji
6.Garam
7.Cream of Tartar
8.Telor 3biji
9.Carrot@Brokoli (disagat sebelum dikisar)
10.Olive oil 2-3 sudu

Bahan Salut Nugget

1.telor 1 biji
2.Breadcrumbs+Oat then blend halus.

Cara2:
Kisar semua bahan kisar sampai sebati..
Then, campurkan:
1.tepung gandum 3 sudu besar
2.tepung jagung 1 sudu besar


Bentukkan ikut kreativiti masing2 dan bolehla di kukus agak2 dalam 10 minit. Sejukkan sekejap dalam suhu bilik..
Sediakan telor 1 biji dan oat-breadcrumbs dalam 2 bekas berasingan...

Celup nugget dalam telor dan oat-breadcrumbs dan bleh simpan dalam freezer atau terus goreng dalam api sederhana..

Siap..boleh try ye..
Very recommended untuk anak yang tak makan sayur dan sembelit.
Alhamdulullah Sufi kurang sembelit maybe sebab ada vegetables dan oats..

p/s: Roti boleh digantikan dengan ubi kentang..

😘

Friend In Need 👭

"Friend in need is a friend in deed"

friendship reveals everything including being together either in good or bad time.
i had experienced one..she is like an angel whenever she still exist in my hard time-helping me out with my storm-listening to me no matter how long it is-encouraging strength to me-accompanied me during my warded day-being my sixth sense just to ensure a fair justification has been made on me. Yes..everybody done their part and there were many true friends who supported me during that time. However, what was mesmerizing me is her honesty..
i am never imagine before she is the one who stand still with me whenever everyone else were busy with their routine.
million thanks friend...Only Allah know the best reward for you.

Alhamdulillah...you have proved it.

My All Version 2

Assalamualaikum All..

Mom.. how do u can be so patience with me? i adore your capabilities in being such a great beautiful mother for me. u are super beautiful mom..that's where my beauty came from. hee.. hey, whoelse can admit it until u admit it yourself.hehe.. Confidence is a beauty..

I am a crying daughter since i am children. easily touched by surroundings..easily cry..easily follow the rules..but hard to say No. that is me.. However u always talk to me nicely. thank you mama for being here with me no matter how hard it is. May Allah strengthen our faith to be more loyal to our parents..and let our childrens be good to us too.

InsyaAllah..

Doa For parents 💕

Parenting..

Assalamualaikum parents..

Salam to all gorgeous parents & parents to be..

I would like to recommend a very good & effective link  which is suitable for those who are looking forward in educating their childrens..

Is is free..unchargeable..good medium of information..

#notaparentingTaufiqRazif
Telegram: Klik je link ni : t.me/NotaTaufiqRazif

Feel free to join..you will worth your time to spend into it ✌

Its a Date 💕

Assalamualaikum..

Sigh..it has been couple of times we haven't date like this. i hate to see the frustration look of my hubby. Syg..u are my strenght. no matter how hard i have to fight with my diagnosis, i will try harder to be strong for u..

For breakfast-date this morning we chose Kopitiam Kita. it has been a years for us not been here..after our kids went for tadika, we went here for the delicious roti titab..nyum2..

❤Our style: The Titab With 3/4 Boiled Egg❤

1. Happy Tuesday All...

my All..

My All..

Have you found angels in human?
yes..i have..
i have a dedicated father. papa..thank you for being very supportive father for me. papa always show me where i should go..what i should do..what i should choose..in fact, i am the sulung who is very easy to ask for. i adore the way papa guide us either in agama or in education. i am still remember, during my holiday while waiting for SPM result papa had arranged the very effective course for me in order to fulfil my freetime. I had completed computer & graphic course at Cosmopoint which was offered within few weeks. that was the best & enjoyful moment of study EVER. Keep spinning in my mind how was the feeling when you can't wait for the class..because it was so interesting. owh..i forgot to mention that i used to love IT subject very much during schooltime. Somehow, i used to be the best IT student in entire Form 5. then i further my study to matriculation (which was my first time study far from my family). that was my first time i saw tearful eyes of papa. thank you papa for yout encourageness whenever i still didn't know where the future heading me to.. How i wish to keep my promise to take care of both you till infinity. Allah..let it be 😢

Papa..i am your faithful daughter now and forever..
Please forgive me for all the wrong i had done..
Please realize that everytime i make salam and asking for your forgiveness..i really meant it papa 😢

p/s: Tears pouring down...may i continue later guys.

Happy Women's Day 2018

Assalamualaikum..

Happy Women's Day 2018

Women are the heart of the world.. i dedicate all the best wishes to my mama and my only sister for always been with me since i was born. thank you mama because of your pain & sacrifice, i am here.. for you josh public-enemy96.blogspot.com there is undescribable word to express my thankful for you.

It's a Test..

assalamualaikum..

Allahu..

Challenge..Test..Problem..

Those are to make us stronger. Let be strong in going through all those things..
There is A Big Precious Gift which Allah prepared for someone who succeed with their test..

Me reminding myself too..
Yes it is not a good feeling when you are going through a hard time..
Yes it is not easy to be as strong as those advices..
But Yes..it is not possible you can overcome it..

InsyaAllah..

No Gadget Rule

Assalamualaikum Sahabat..

This entry is probably for mommies..daddies..nannies and everyone who concern about kids nowdays@what they called Gen-Z (am i rigjt)?🤔
Have we heard that gadgets can put the kids into dangerous situation? either physically@mentally..?

Let me share mine..my sons also nearly jump into that bad situation. Yes i admit that the lack of parent's attention contribute to it. Since i have been struggled studying (PJJ), my sons always with their grandparents. And absolutely the best way for the grandparents to tackle theirs was by introduce handphone..tabs..Youtube..and so on. It became the easiest way..i guess. When i had completed my study, it was so hard for my husband and i to redo our son's attraction. Ya Allah.. Very Very Challenging. we realy need to be tough handling out 2 gadget-addicted sons. Their Nenek & Atok always behind and backup them. Urgh..that was the real part. 'diorang budak2 lagi..'
'suka-suka je tu..'
It was so-not-me to keep explaining this and there..the reasons..my PATIENCE have been challenged.
But alhamdulillah within weeks our sons recovered..
Here i list down the tips for my Gadget-Addicted-Sons. maybe they still in the early stage to redo the habit in short period. But at least we can try..

1. we put a gap between each visit to our parents house. because each time we reached to their home, my sons will run to their Nenek & Atok and asked for the Handset@Tab. and each of the time their Nenek & Atok will melt down.hehe..

2. we put the picture of ghost as our home and lockscreen wallpaper. everytime they tried to reach it, they will run away. i think this can be tricked early age children since they are still affraid of the picture of ghost..hehe. after a while, they themselves have forgot the gadget. Yeay..

3. we have set our dp whatsapp picture with the scary picture. Soon as they got their Nenek & Atok's handset, we would make a whatsapp call to the number. So there would appeared the scary picture on the screen. Usually they would put down the handset and ran for us while screamed 'hantu call!!!' Another yeay.. Credit to my lovely sister for the brilliant idea @public-enemy96.blogspot.com Love you sis.

4. we bought them variety of Lego&Puzzles. let them play together with us. Show them the multidesign it can be. Its fun guys! For the introduction they might look uninterested but don't give them any other options that out of the lane.
we always ask them for the specific option like 'you wanna play this lego or that puzzle?'
repeat the same question until they choose 1 of them. you should try guys..

5. Let them draw. this will divert their mind from the gadgets. my 1st son really love to draw & colour. hence, he is easily attracted to this way and automatically influence his brother to do so. we can try with something that they love to do..

6. Lastly, when my sons are fully recovered..slowly we explained why we do this and that. we emphasize that there is no big deal with that scary picture. Allah is everything. picture is still a picture. Alhamdulillah the 3 and 5 Y.O kids will understand. the most important thing is Doa.. Keep praying for the successful plan. For their good future..

Good luck..May the success with us. amin..

Childrens are like sponge... The more they learn, the more they absorb..

أشهد أن لا إله إلاَّ الله و أشهد أن محمدرسول الله

There is no God but Allah and Nabi Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah.

Tiada Tuhan disembah melainkan Allah dan Nabi Muhammad itu pesuruh Allah.

Assalamualaikum..

Praise to Allah for the greatest gift for me..which is Islam. Born as Muslims is the biggest Allah's gift for me. I have been recalled this when my kids came from their school while singing and repeating the Pillars of Iman and the Pillars of Islam (in english words because i used to memorize those in Bahasa Malaysia) They are singing happily and jumping around leaving me memorized those Pillars myself..

I have keep thinking how their kindergarden's teachers been very strong and patience in teaching them~handling students with tensions everywhere either from overprotected parents or from the society itselves.
I keep reminding my hubby not to fall into that type of parents who did not know what the appreciation is. O Allah, keep them in high patience in handling students nowdays including mine... Amin.

Let us recalled so that we can reinforce our kids at home..

What is the 5 Pillars of Islam?

❤The Declaration of Faith (Shahadah)
❤Salah (Establishing regular Prayers)
❤Zakat (Paying charity)
❤Sawm (Fasting in the month of Ramadan)
❤Pilgrimage (Hajj)

What is the 6 Pillars of Iman?

❤Belief in Allah;
❤Belief in the angels;
❤Belief in the revealed books;
❤Belief in the commissioned Messengers (peace be upon them).
❤Belief in the resurrection and the events of Qiyamah.
❤Belief in the predestination by Allah of all things, both the (seemingly) good and the (seemingly) bad.

No Answer

Assalamualaikum..

How i wish to have my normal life back-to go to work on my own, to laugh with my friends, gathering with families, evening-playing with my sons..(including bermalas-malasan kat rumah)
Ya Allah..
I used to live happily and healthily before.(the mild fever, flue, headache & all the minor sickness were excluded okay~ngee..)
Until one day, something..one bad thing..really BAD thing..conquered my life and me.
What is the BAD thing?
I have NONE of the answers 😭
15.8.2017 become an prologue of this problem. Starting when i felt down in the toilet, suffered for Left Hamstring Injury/Tear then i was conquered by black evil, suffering the treatments & Ruqyahs, facing the head management's manners. Subhanallah..very stressful.

《the crying pearl》

Loading A New Me

" I tell myself that if I manage to weather all these storms, I will come out stronger and better."

Assalamualaikum..May Allah bless our day..

The storms is not gone yet.
How i wish i could stay away from those storms.
One morning after i wake up from my sadness, i have reached my sis's blog.
I guess i should try to write as a way to share mine.
To reduce my burdens-even 2 out of 10~gosh😓

Hence i created this to share both my black&white of my sickness-the denial state..the depression state..the frustration..& all the courageousness i have 😑

Thanks All💕

《the crying pearl》